On Leaving

So wow guys, it's September and this baby could be here in the next few weeks/next month and I am feeling so many feels. I am going to be taking 5 months off of working at my full-time job, which I am so grateful for, but also frightened of the thought. I love to work, I don't know what it feels like to not have a 40 hour work week + piles of side projects to get done on any given week.

I can remember helping my friend bathe her daughter when she was 3 months old, so tiny and delicate, and tearing up realizing that many women have to leave children that small in daycare to go back to work. How unfair. Are we that uncivilized? Do we put that little emphasis on the minds of the babies who are born into our world. But now, here I am scared shitless of being at home with my little baby, with hours and hours of open-ended time to devote myself to him. I'm so lucky, but so scared to lose myself and the things that make me feel smart/ worthy/ somewhere in life. Maybe once I become a mom, that will make me feel like somebody, but until this point I've felt like somebody because of the hours and hours I've devoted into my job & blog, staying up-to-date and connected to like-minded adults. Maybe once I see his little tiny face it will all change.

What was it like for you guys? Was the transition weird? I am thinking of taking on a new hobby or something, just to keep my mind working. :)


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